The other day, an older lady stopped in at the Gap. As she was shopping, an especially ingratiating and baby-punching inducing song began to play. She asked what I thought about a cardigan in a particular color. I offered my opinion. “You should get paid extra to listen to this music,” she remarked. “I agree!” I shouted a little too enthusiastically. My manager gave me a strange look. I’m used to those looks though; she gave up on me about a month into my employment. That lady really was onto something though. I mean, there are a few good songs on our playlist, but they usually overplay those and I end up hating them after a week. The other hours of my shift, however, are mostly filled with a playlist from Satan’s ipod. As I was enduring retail hell today, trying to avoid folding the sweaters so as not to give into the urge of smothering myself in them, I began to entertain this lady’s beautiful new pay system and I mentally outlined how much I should get payed for each time one of the worst songs plays:

Ke$ha: Ke$10

Katy Perry - Firework: $15

Train - Soul Sister: $20

Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger: $30

Any country song: $40

Any Nickelback song: do you guys know anyone hiring?

• 
• 

threadandsalt:

backpack. backpack.

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sweater via j.crew
denim shirt via h&m
bag via makr carry goods
pants via j.crew outlet
shoes via florsheim

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it’s spring - be happy.

(via modernhepburn)